A Not So Beautiful Moment
Just yesterday morning I received a text, ” Is that invitation still open to have drinks on the boat?” I have been juggling many balls in the air as of late, but I asked my husband how he felt, and he said of course, so I unenthusiastically answered yes. I seem to do this a lot, a habit I think that needs tweaking, because what ends up happening is that I keep doing things I don’t want to do. If you’ve read my prior blogs I am running a business with my husband, and it takes a lot of physical and mental energy to help run it, a home and try to look somewhat ” good for your age.” But I just kept throwing those balls up in the air. About 30 minutes later…”Do you mind if I bring this other couple?” I did know them, but as I was already reluctant to begin with, I was feeling cornered. How do you say, “Yes I do mind?” My husband is wired way differently. He was ok with it. I left work around 4 to make a doctor’s appointment, then went to the gym to get that crucial “me time” in again to try to look and feel “good for my age.” Before heading to the boat, I picked up a bottle of medicine, I mean wine, and headed over. Wouldn’t you know it, I got there, and the person that initiated the text in the first place was not there. Instead there was the one couple she texted about, another couple and one more person! They had brought a lot of food and drinks on board, as though they, well they did, invite themselves and threw a party for themselves. It was an awkward, unexpected moment. All my balls fell to the ground. The tricky part is not showing it. She showed up with her husband last, and I just did the best I could to keep my composure, as they made future plans on our boat. All I knew was that I would not be participating in those plans. The boat for me, is a place of tranquility. I go there with my husband after work sometimes to have a drink, enjoy spotting sea turtles or manatees, take in the peaceful nature around us. Some Sundays we take our kids out with a few friends for family time. It’s named “Our Time” Obviously, I’m not out to sport a bikini on it, or have drinking binges on it. I’m way past that phase. Part of aging is maturing. Sometimes I feel I don’t quite fit in, but I’m getting to the point, that I don’t really care if I do. I am a quiet person, basically out to dinner, maybe a small group outing here and there, and family events are the extent of social interactions that I’m good with. Other than that, I’m happiest when it’s just me, my husband and my dogs.
I have a fantasy of running away with my two dogs (Pictured in “The Beauty of Dogs“). They really get me.
Day 11 and 12
I am still jogging daily. It really helps me start up my day, and helps me with stress and mental clarity. If you are not one to exercise, I highly recommend getting out and least walk. I also love my fit bit. Every time it vibrates on my wrist it’s like a shock of encouragement.