For some women who take time off to raise their kids for 15 years or so, it may be difficult to find your sense of purpose after the “birds fly from the nest.” I’ve always thought my purpose was to raise my kids to be descent adults with a work ethic. I’ve done the best I can. I say “can” rather than “could” because I still try to actively influence them. The role of parenting never ends though the activeness of the role does. But now that they’re gone, now what?
A lot of times, this is the point in a woman’s life is where she may struggle. I know I did. I began teaching in 1990. Though I took leaves in between to raise my kids in their baby to toddler stages, I left the career completely in 2010. I dedicated the time at home to my husband, my children, getting my mom to her appointments, and volunteering to read with kids once a week. But somewhere in that, I lost”my person.” “Oh, you don’t work anymore, must be nice.” “What do you do all day?” I started to feel badly about myself and believed that people were judging me somehow. Compiled with the feeling of getting older, I felt lost. It’s just not a good place to be.
In December 2015, my husband walked away from a $2 million salary because he just wasn’t happy anymore. If you met him, you would never know it. He’s a very positive, confident and generous man. I thought to myself, how interesting we were at two very different points in our lives, but at the exact same spot. We were both trying to figure out our sense of purpose, just from different angles.
I’m blessed to own a business with my husband, and take an active role in pushing it forward, though it’s not a spa, cozy bookstore, or boutique as many women would gravitate towards. It’s a small. independent car lot, and it’s just the two of us. What can I possibly contribute to a business I know nothing about? I surprise myself everyday. Though I’ve never owned a Facebook or twitter account, I handle the business pages for those, as well as ad managing and blogging for our site. I take cars in from truckers and check the vehicle before accepting it on our lot. I get the cars to our local car wash to make sure they have a proper appearance. I put customers in test drives, and I help maintain the appearance of the lot.I log costs of car upkeep in. I proudly support our local schools with a small donation from our monthly sales. I talk to families in need of a car, and try to get something that fits in their budget. I get here each day by 8:30 and leave by 4 so that I can make sure my home is being taken care of. And on top of that as recorded on my post notes, I take in exercise each day to try to feel and look good for my age. I know I’m not alone in this pattern, but I’ve only come to know it a short time ago. So to those women that have done this all, I admire you.
I feel like I have a new purpose again. It’s so important to feel productive and appreciated. It’s also important to have support in times when you are low. The best thing I did was get a life coach to help direct me with some of my feelings. I could have talked to friends but sometimes it could be a burden on friends if they have to constantly listen to your struggles. And a lot of times it turns into a commiseration with no solutions in site.
Post Note Day 16
Weigh in went well. 159.4 whoo hoo! I find logging my food intake is where I’ve had most success in weight loss. The problem is it has to become an adopted habit. I read it takes 66 days to establish a good habit. 50 days to go!
Be sure to visit my home page for my invite to Change the way you see Beauty.