The journey that most women share is just that…Shared. We all travel through childhood, the awkwardness of puberty, and ultimately womanhood. Along the way we weave in and out of relationships, like a threaded needle binding together pieces in a quilt. Where would I be without Margarita Mondays in which I gather with my closest girlfriends to share each other’s triumphs, disappointments, celebrations and challenges.
After experiencing the changes of motherhood, nurturing the pure innocence of my babies ( I always say I’ve never felt anything better than my babies sleeping on me), and guiding the young into adulthood, I find that I lost a little of “Who I am”. (I don’t know that men go through this in the same way or any way, and I don’t want to dismiss them having the very important role of fatherhood. I can only speak to my experience.) This is of course, the natural result of years dedicated to this privileged role. Was I a good mother? I’m waiting for the punchline, you know, where the mother gets blamed for everything that goes wrong. There is a small chance I might have done something right.
I am in a whole new phase in my life. I had a little adjusting to do recently as our last two youngsters arrive to their senior year in high school. But I know one thing- I’m not alone. Most women have given their transitioning years happily to their children, even putting careers on hold. After the kids go off to conquer the world, this typically means having more time to take care of one’s self and reconnecting a part of yourself that may have been set to the side over the years. When I looked at the scenario of my last two kids heading off to college, at first I was sad, solely focusing on aging and emptiness. It was almost like a mourning process. As a matter of fact this is still somewhat unresolved. I used to display past Christmas and other holiday pictures from baby to teen, but now they make me a little melancholy. Realizing this, I’ve chosen to just try to enjoy the present, and put those pictures away safely for my children to enjoy if they so choose.
In reconnecting with myself, I started leaning on my friends more, and got myself a life coach so I had someone with objective views. All these women share in the same kinds of issues as I have brought up. Our journey of womanhood is a shared one. But like everything in life we choose to make it a positive or negative charge. Fading into the senior years can be a very rewarding part of our lives. It’s an opportunity to try new things, visit new places, and work on the other relationships that have been somewhat neglected. It also presents an opportunity to take a little more care of yourself. Look at yourself differently, rather than trying to make the image you see in the mirror fit who you once were. Identify the positives and bring focus to them. Surround yourself with positive influencers whenever possible.
The happier you become with your “new old self” the better all your other relationships will be. You’ll carry that new energy into THE JOURNEY we all share in.
Post Note- Making Progress and finding “Self Care” is a healthy action.