No Witnesses

truffs passed out

So this is how my life was to end…on the floor of a restaurant bathroom, gagging in front of a toilet, all because I swallowed too large a piece of steak…the irony. “47 year old woman found laying next to toilet in local steakhouse at wine tasting event. She died doing what she loved most- eating out with friends and tasting wine with friends, but she died alone.”

Two of my longtime friends I had not seen in a while invited me to a five course wine tasting event.  It was a great time catching up with each other, but at one point someone came over to our table to sit with us, and I wanted to swallow my food quickly to say hello. Unfortunately it was a thick piece of sirloin. Saying hello quickly turned into a vision of throwing up in front of someone I was just introduced to. I was not gonna have it.  I was able to ” keep it together” and quietly excused myself from the table. I  walked over to the restroom with a great pain in my chest just hoping to make it to the restroom. I walked in relieved to be able to cough, burp, heave, breath deeply and found myself and the mercy of the toilet holding my hair back as clear, thick phlegm protruded out.  Do I call an ambulance? Maybe text my friend at the table? Oh no phone I left it there. So this is how it ends… alone, no witnesses, no help. This is what I get for dreading the aging process, I would die at 47.  But somehow I was able to stop the panic, and was able to breath clearly again.  I made my way to the sink, refreshed myself, and walked out with my head held high and feeling quite lucky AND YOUNG.

The purpose of this blog is to chronicle my successes, and set backs as I challenge myself to become a healthier woman inside and out. I call for witnesses and support from others going through a similar journey. The bulk of the blogs here are about weight loss and aging with some kind of handle on it though it’s a very slippery grip. Sometimes I wake up and reaffirm my commitment to exercise and eating right, and then other times it will only take a small moment- watching tv and having a supermodel guest appear on morning news program, or have cheerleaders host a car commercial, and I think to myself, “Why am I even trying?” Would I ever feel great about myself and say to myself ” You look good for your age.”? Blogging, jogging, logging it can be very hard to stay motivated. When I eat I’m happy, I gain weight and I’m not happy.  Then I cut food intake which does not make me happy, but I lose weight and that makes me happy. It’s a vicious cycle. But on the very bright side, Hey, I’m alive, I have healthy kids, a loving husband and two great dogs that give me a whole lot of love. So to all those women going through something like I am- let’s lighten up on ourselves. Allow your friends to witness the successes and help you through the setbacks. And most importantly keep your sense of humorand chew your food thoroughly.

Post note: I’ve lost 12.4 pounds though pic reflec

So this is how my life was to end…on the floor of a restaurant bathroom, gagging in front of a toilet, all because I swallowed too large a piece of steak…the irony. “47 year old woman found laying next to toilet in local steakhouse at wine tasting event. She died doing what she loved most- eating out with friends and tasting wine with friends, but she died alone.”

Two of my longtime friends I had not seen in a while invited me to a five course wine tasting event.  It was a great time catching up with each other, but at one point someone came over to our table to sit with us, and I wanted to swallow my food quickly to say hello. Unfortunately it was a thick piece of sirloin. Saying hello quickly turned into a vision of throwing up in front of someone I was just introduced to. I was not gonna have it.  I was able to ” keep it together” and quietly excused myself from the table. I  walked over to the restroom with a great pain in my chest just hoping to make it to the restroom. I walked in relieved to be able to cough, burp, heave, breath deeply and found myself and the mercy of the toilet holding my hair back as clear, thick phlegm protruded out.  Do I call an ambulance? Maybe text my friend at the table? Oh no phone I left it there. So this is how it ends… alone, no witnesses, no help. This is what I get for dreading the aging process, I would die at 47.  But somehow I was able to stop the panic, and was able to breath clearly again.  I made my way to the sink, refreshed myself, and walked out with my head held high and feeling quite lucky AND YOUNG.

The purpose of this blog is to chronicle my successes, and set backs as I challenge myself to become a healthier woman inside and out. I call for witnesses and support from others going through a similar journey. The bulk of the blogs here are about weight loss and aging with some kind of handle on it though it’s a very slippery grip. Sometimes I wake up and reaffirm my commitment to exercise and eating right, and then other times it will only take a small moment- watching tv and having a supermodel guest appear on morning news program, or have cheerleaders host a car commercial, and I think to myself, “Why am I even trying?” Would I ever feel great about myself and say to myself ” You look good for your age.”? Blogging, jogging, logging it can be very hard to stay motivated. When I eat I’m happy, I gain weight and I’m not happy.  Then I cut food intake which does not make me happy, but I lose weight and that makes me happy. It’s a vicious cycle. But on the very bright side, Hey, I’m alive, I have healthy kids, a loving husband and two great dogs that give me a whole lot of love. So to all those women going through something like I am- let’s lighten up on ourselves. Allow your friends to witness the successes and help you through the setbacks. And most importantly keep your sense of humorand chew your food thoroughly.

Post note: I’ve lost 12.4 pounds though pic reflects less because I started photos later.

progress

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Author: shiftinbeauty

I just wanted to start the conversation of how looks seem to dominate the focus in our society. I've been told I need to shift my view of what beauty is, and want to invite anyone to join me at looking at beauty a different way.

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