Ebb and Flow of Speaking Out

Speaking out can be freeing, yet frightening in today’s times.  Sometimes I think what great times we live in,  but other times I think , where did our sense of boundaries go? Where did our sense of looking at individuals as beings, without judging what they look like go?  A commercial for a luxury car came on this morning and a mother and daughter were talking about how the daughter liked to borrow mom’s clothes, that the yoga mats fit in the car, and the daughter says something like “You look hot mom.” Well for one thing I can go out and buy this so called luxury car, but am so turned off by the message that this car is only for the “hot looking ” I wouldn’t consider it. You may be thinking, ‘ But you yourself are making a judgment, aren’t you?” Well yes I am. I’m making the judgment that aging women are being set aside. Why couldn’t this company feature a very identifiable look that most aging women have or look like and come from a different angle, one of accomplishment verses entitlement? Because that message is being lost in our society.  Luxury cars are for the accomplished.  “What did you do in life that allows you the luxury of buying a high end auto?” That’s what I would be more interested in.  It’s as though success equals looking good period. Have we lost our sense of appreciating different views, different ages and the experiences we can learn from one another? How a person started at a certain level in life and worked hard to earn what they have? Women in their 40s and 50’s, like myself, are trying to figure out where they fit in exactly in today’s shallow, shallow world. I would love a real magazine about real women in their 40’s and 50’s without spraying off the crows feet. I have a magazine I have laying around the house and the back cover is a cream ad with a very flawless young woman and the ad reads “Aging is just a number.” Well then, if that’s true, why do we need this cream?

The irony is I have made a commitment to myself to lose weight and I work very hard to keep my weight in check so I can ,in turn, feel better about myself. And I do.  I’m able to visit my closet like my own personal little boutique of clothes that had not fit before. I’m more confident and have loads more energy. But sometimes I just want to embrace my age, and not deal with reaching my exercise quota for the day. It can be tiring.

The desire to be young again is a natural one. Even good ole Ponce de Leon was searching for the Fountain of Youth when he arrived in our lovely state of La Florida.  But at some point we have to accept it and be thankful for the right of passage aging grants us. We also need to speak out and get the message across to our young girls that you too are going to age, and it’s OK. Don’t be subjected to feeling that how you look is more important than what you accomplish in life.  The more you accomplish for yourself, the more beautiful life will be for you. The trick is finding grace in doing it.

post note: 145.6

Tried boxing at the gym this am.  I would have felt to self conscious to try 20 pounds heavier. Had great fun!cropped-audrey-hepburn-e1466259868975.jpg



Author: shiftinbeauty

I just wanted to start the conversation of how looks seem to dominate the focus in our society. I've been told I need to shift my view of what beauty is, and want to invite anyone to join me at looking at beauty a different way.

1 thought on “Ebb and Flow of Speaking Out”

  1. Yay! I love seeing people realise that so called “compliments” are actually judgements which don’t really connect each other to our real emotions and human needs. Calling a child a “good boy” … is simply praising them for compliance. I love Marshall Rosenberg’s approach which is to express gratitude to the child: tell them how what they are doing is helping you (eg: contributing to your peace or fun or rest). And if they’re not doing what we think they should, connect with what they’re saying yes to. I so want my daughter and son and all kids … young and old … to grow up free of the pressure to measure herself by “hotness”. There’s such fun and wonderful beauty waiting for us to explore inside.


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