Learned behavior has taught us to be on guard, and put on appearances that we want people to see. I am deeply outside my comfort zone being completely open and transparent, blogging about my difficulties on how I see myself, sharing my progress on a healthy plan, dealing with the aging process, etc. But I do it because I realize that I’m not alone. I for one do not want to take what I call ” a level 2 unnatural approach to aging.” I call it level 2 because most women already do level 1 things that I would consider, and take part in myself, to fight off signs of aging like moisturizing , applying make up, getting eyebrows done, facials, etc. About a year ago, I considered cool sculpting , but had a voice inside that said, don’t fall for that. I also have done a facial peel that extended in the “decoulage” area as they call it. I couldn’t sleep, my skin felt like I had a bad sunburn. I couldn’t smile, or eat, for if I opened my mouth to bite into a sandwich, I would have bled at corners of my lips. I don’t like not being able to eat! I happen to love food! When I went for the follow-up facial, I had a brand new mark near my eye. The technician said, ” I told you to take Benadryl. You probably scratched at it while you were sleeping.” I quickly discovered that my tolerance for pain and discomfort were on a very low threshold. That is as close to taking the level 2 approach as I have come. So when I say that i don’t want to take an unnatural approach, I am not criticizing women that do, because I have actually given it thought, and even participated in it. There is something out of balance when I see women in their 70’s on tv with no wrinkles on her face. Maybe you are reading this blog right now, considering having something cosmetic done. This industry is making huge money, just because we ‘culturally’ refuse to accept the process. As this blog is dedicated to “Shifting the Idea of Beauty” I think we need to figure out how to embrace those character lines, that just didn’t happen over night. They are part of us whether we like it or not. They tell our Beautiful story.
Post Note -Day 3
530 am, I head out the door. My knee is not hurting and I am full of energy waiting for the day to begin. I am no longer gasping for air, I turn each corner mark happily, not thinking about stopping, but rather how great I am feeling. I make it completely back to my front door and pick up my gal, Truffs short for Truffles. I told you about her day 1. She’s my black and white Havanese- the best gift my husband ever got me. I return home and get ready for the day. I’m looking forward to having a positive day with my husband at our car lot, and meeting with our customers. Life is good and full of blessings and Beauty all around!
Oh My Goodness! I so Looooove this Topic!
As stated in my first blog yesterday, when you hit your 40’s and 50’s, some people sail in fine, and others have trouble adjusting their sails and figuring where the wind is blowing from. Things have changed so quickly. While I look at is as “hanging on to the past”, I should look at it as contributing to the preservation of how things were done . I have a daughter in college who invited me to “Real Mail Fridays.” It’s done every first of the month on the campus library , in a room full of stationary, stamps, ball point pens and calligraphy pens. The purpose? To write a letter the good old-fashioned way. I feel that cursive writing is now a kind of code writing. It is on the edge of disappearance. So when my daughter invited me to sit and write letters, I looked at is as a relaxing pause, in the everyday internet flow. What’s funny is that I’ve always been a kind of old soul. Even as a young twenty year old, I had friends twenty years older. And when they referred to an old movie or song, I was right there with them. I’ve always gravitated to old cars, movies, and songs. I am thrilled that movie theaters in my area are replaying the oldies like Casa Blanca. If you haven’t sat down to write a letter, I highly recommend writing one, and giving it to a loved one, via snail mail. It’s a lovely surprise to the recipient, and says, you are so worth my time! Every time someone buys a car from our lot, I send out a handwritten note of appreciation with a throw back stamp on it.
At the Gym This Morning
I observe people, especially the ones that are in their 70’s and beyond, showing up each day to work out. I suspect they’ve probably incorporated exercise into their daily living, which explains why they kick my butt on some of the machines. I simply marvel at their can do attitude. They are truly inspiring. If I’m 47, and I feel sore, when the morning is all said and done, imagine how they feel. Then I really do try to imagine how they feel… blessed and ALIVE. They are beyond being concerned about their character lines. I can learn a lot from them as I shift my views on beauty. Their biological clocks, their analog clocks, are to be noted. Take the time to talk to someone with these special clocks inside. They are full of great stories that I feel need to be preserved, not cast aside and dismissed as though they’re number is up. They have a place in today’s fast paced world. They are reminders to look back once in a while, and not focus on the frivolousness of ” how do I look?” but really get to know people beyond the outside. They are full of wisdom. They are truly BEAUTIFUL!
POST NOTE- DAY 2
I find that exercising is helping me build inner strength and teaching me not to give up when I really want to stop. I am logging food entries into MyFitnessPal and counting on my fitbit to record my activity. They are very helpful tools and I motivated by my progress and people I meet who are on the same journey of health, and feeling good about themselves. I said yesterday I wasn’t ready to put pictures up of myself, and I need to clarify, I already have pictures up on our website and other blog for our car lot business. I am talking about the progressive pictures as I loose weight, and hopefully find piece and grace with the blessing of aging. I wonder if I will ever have the courage to post them. I wonder if I can continue the one year journey.
This is the post excerpt.
I have been told that I have to “Shift my idea of what beauty is”and I would like to invite anyone that recognizes that today’s views of beauty are one-dimensional, and wants to change the way beauty is viewed, to join me on a one year journey, of changing the way I see myself and others. I plan on sharing my daily struggles with daily exercise, moods, set backs, situations and triumphs, while shifting my view of beauty, and embrace being in my late 40s, moving into my 50’s in the most graceful way I can. I recognize that it is a huge blessing to get older, and it’s unrealistic to strive to look like the airbrushed TV personalities of today. What I can be , is a positive “inspiration” to women who may be struggling with something similar, and draw a community of all kinds of Beauty.
6:15 AM Weighed in on Monday at 165 LBS
I head out the door and tell myself I will not stop on this jog. I will complete the mile and I am very proud to go past the mile marker. I am out of shape and out of breath.I will walk home to pick up my best friend, my black and white Havanese. Her name is Truffles, and she is pure love.I come back home and it’s time to head for work. I own a small car lot with my husband, newly opened in late february. Yesterday I left early to get my hair done.we were meeting with our blended family, and i spend most of the week stressing on how I look.I need to shift this, I know.I reflect on how it went and I am pleased that I have made progress on accepting a compliment and joining in on pictures. My stepson graduated firefighter. He thanked me for coming. That meant a lot to me.I had a bold, conservative red dress on, not a color I would have normally sported, but somehow it called to me when I was looking for possibilities in my closet.
It Has Been A Week
This morning I decided I cannot continue to jog on the streets of my neighborhood. Though I feel great that I have conquered my breathing and stamina as I jog, I cannot take the risk of my knee giving out and postponing my progress. I spent the week icing it and got a knee brace, but it is a persistent pain. I pack a small bag to take to the gym and decide I will start my days on a knee friendly elliptical. It is an uncomfortable setting as I am easily embarrassed, as though people are watching my clumsy attempts to try a new machine. I decide to snap a quick picture of myself in the entrance to the bathroom, hoping no one walks in as I do it. I have made progress in the first week. I can feel my clothes loosening its grip on me, and the scale confirms at 162.8 that I am making the proper efforts to achieve a healthy weight. My fitbit also keeps me in line with daily activity, while MyFitnesspal helps me with accountability of nutrition. I do not want to become obsessed, I just want to succeed. I am not ready to share pictures yet. That would require me to be brave, and put myself completely out there, when I don’t even know how this one year journey will end. In the meantime ,I am formulating a new “picture of the inside” of myself, shifting what beauty means to me. It’s not just the outward appearance. It’s what shows through from the heart. How you accept challenges around you. It’s standing out despite what’s going on in our society. It’s making a difference. I look forward to sharing some of that as well in my future posts.