It’s Time to Fly!

This poem is dedicated to all the young people out there, finding their place in this world.  I recently discovered my son had a talent- guitar player, composer and singer.  He just started but I can see his passion for music. It’s a turning point in his life as he goes on to college and decides what he will do with the rest of his life.

Casey coffee house

“FLIGHT”

I knew a boy who grew up to be a man

Of quiet strength and peace, he had an angel in his hand.

He had a gift of a smile that made the stars cry,

And the spirit of a dove, he discovered he could fly.

He didn’t have to listen and get approval any longer,

Disappointments and losses would make the man stronger.

It’s my turn, you’ve had yours, I’m gonna fly to the Sun.

But I’m smarter than Icarus, I’m gonna LIVE to have fun!

You can’t melt my wings, I’m in control of my flight.

I’m not afraid to fail a few times, cause I’ll get it right.

Winter comes quickly, ask any old soul…

They wonder where their youth went, lost sight of the goal.

Lost track of the time, lost time of the track-

Everyone knows they’ll never get it back.

 

I’m gonna pack my guitar, and play Life a song.

I’m gonna enjoy my springtime, and Life will play along.

And when Winter comes, I’ll stare him square in the eye

And I’ll just strum my guitar,

and continue to F-L-Y!

Just me and my angel and my new life ahead

I’ll never wonder “what if” of the life that I led.

I left behind kindness, a smile and a song

I didn’t waste my gifts, I passed them along…

Behind every beautiful thing, there’s some kind of pain.” ― Bob Dylan

Hey mom. I remember sometime in high school or early college, I told you that I thought depression was just people being whiny, even though I knew you were dealing with some.  I’d just like to apologize for that.  Someone that I spent a lot of time with in the theatre department took his own life last night and no one saw it coming.  Just wanted to take a moment to tell you that I love you.

My daughter sent me that text just a few days ago.  This is not the first time in my children’s young years that this kind of tragedy has brushed into their lives. When my son was in 8th grade, a classmate had also taken his own life.  You wonder what can be so bad, that that’s the only solution you can come up with. I remember being at  Christmas Eve mass and I was handed a free book. So as I read through it, I remember reading that Bob Dylan’s grandmother used to tell him to be kind to everyone because you don’t know what they are going through. I thought about that.

How very true that is.  We just seem to bump around day to day, lives softly brushing by one another as we make quick judgements on the mother with an unruly child, or the disheveled person at the grocery store, or the aged person driving way too slowly on the road. There is a show out there on Netflix that has just surfaced and it’s all about suicide.  The creators say it’s not supposed to be easy to watch and that we should watch it with our kids. Well I think they are wrong.  Why would I want to coddle and encourage that topic with my kids? I realize that it needs to be addressed, but weekly?

There is something seriously wrong with our society. Just look at the selection of reality shows out there.  Look at what’s happening on social media, where murders are being recorded and people are actually laughing in the background.  It reminds me of the Roman times where people would flock to an arena to cheer on as someone was killed.  Sometimes I just sit and try to think of how we can fix this.  Mark Zuckerberg is hiring thousands more employees to sift through social media to pull inappropriate postings, but honestly, I don’t think there’s anything you can do when there’s a live feed filtering through.  My 18 year old jokes to me that his children will have flip phones.  I think it’s a good idea. Hind sight is 20/20.  When phones came out with cameras, they should have had regulations in place where kids in elementary and middle school could only have a flip phones at school to call in case of emergencies and after school communications with parents. And if there parents wanted to spend yet another 200 on a camera phone, fine, but not in  school.  With these devices at a very young age, we have promoted addiction, and desensitized our youth. Movies have ratings ( and don’t get me started) alcohol has an age restriction, why not these devices? I’d also love to see packages bundled where you don’t have to accept the channels that conflict with your values.

So what is the fix? I don’t know. What I do know is we need to slow down and challenge ourselves to put down our devices a little longer each day and take an interest in our neighbors. Friendships and relationships need to be nurtured, but it requires paying attention. And a lost art needs to make it’s way back. The art of listening and taking in another person’s opinion without knocking them to the ground figuratively.  They seem like small steps to take.  I think it’s worth a shot. And who knows, someone that may be considering doing the unthinkable, may change their mind, and figure out they do matter, and they in turn may be able to help others.

” Be kind to everyone because you don’t know what they may be going through.”

 

 

 

Just Because Everyone Says It’s OK…

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One woman reached out to total strangers on a health/weight loss site social chat. Normally one would post, who is having trouble with getting to the gym, or reaching this goal weight. But she stated it was her anniversary, and in 6 weeks she would be having a baby, but caught her husband with porn. He had promised to stop, but he did not follow through with his promise. The replies poured in…” Porn is natural.”” Pornography is not anything to worry about.” “If watching porn upsets you, then there may be a deeper issue on your end.” “Well look at it this way, at least he’s just looking at porn, and not hiring hookers.” ” Maybe indulge with him in some of these fantasies.” Of course there was another side to the responses. The ones I tend to align with.  I wonder if these women ever held their new borns and thought, ” I can’t wait till you grow up to be a porn star, or stripper.”

How have we come to justify pornography and sex on the big screen? The excuse tends to be ” Oh, they are artists, and they are portraying the story line because if we don’t see the strip club, or the complete physical act of sex in the scene, we may not understand the story line…” Yes, of course I am being sarcastic. How come ( AND NOT THAT I WANT THIS- this is only a question) we never see normal people engaging in sex on the screen? Because it simply wouldn’t generate money.

I remember having a conversation with a friend about ten years ago now.  She was having problems with her husband.  Her husband was ” friends” with a woman who was being very flirtatious and even showed her boobs at a party. The husband said my friend was making way too big a deal of it. My friend explained to me , and her husband, that she did not want him fantasizing about her while engaging intimately with each other in their bedroom.  That made sense to me. It wasn’t porn, but his attention was drawn to someone else, not his wife. And the same thing goes with porn as far as I’m concerned. How have we set the bar so low in our relationships to allow our spouses to engage in this behavior? I did some research to get some outside input on this and there are other harsher views on pornography leading to violence towards women. If anything else it’s demeaning to women- our mothers, sisters, daughters, friends.

It is so difficult being a woman in today’s times.( And being an aging woman is one big party!) There is so much pressure to balance what we look like, our employment status, raising and nurturing our families, our spouses. I really felt hurt for the woman who reached out on the chat, and hope she can draw strength from family and friends, and see if she can get through to her husband on why this has hurt her so much. Just because people dismiss this issue as women being overly sensitive, and porn is ok, does not make it ok. OK?! Just like shortening the word doesn’t make it cute.

The movie Embrace is dedicated to getting to the bottom of why many  women feel badly about their bodies. I have only seen the trailer, but I know I identify with a lot of women out there that doubt their beauty because of the exterior ( their perception of their bodies).  I think it has something to do not only with all the model types that are put out there in  fashion magazines and movies for us to emulate, but the casual way sex is viewed, how movies and tv portray it, and how people are willing to sell out their diginity for it. In my opinion we need to hold ourselves in high esteem.  Too much emphasis is placed on looks and being “sexy.” Nothing to do with BEAUTY.

Personally I am on a journey ( Day 271). I decided to make more time to care for myself mostly so that I don’t feel uncomfortable in a room full of women at social events. ( There was an event that stirred up a lot of hurt, and the only person that could resolve it was me.) I am thankful for a great marriage of ten years now, (my second marriage) in which we hold each other in high esteem, and I value that. I value him! If you are a person about to take on marriage, make sure you’re willing to put each other on the highest level of respect, because if not, what’s the point? Give your spouse and family value and more importantly give yourself, self worth so that you CAN value those close to you. And look inside for BEAUTY because what we look like is such a small piece of who we are.

Progress Post Note-Day 272- Realizing that eating healthier is also good for my brain chemicals, skin and nails. Going into the closet makes it easier to COME OUT OF THE CLOSET now that things fit better. And I’m having a little fun too! Got lashes two weeks ago. Loving them! I am revisiting my faith and  trying new exercises. There are a lot more positives in my life!

A good point from Embrace is that our bodies are not ornaments, but vehicles.  I want to  explore that more within myself and look forward to making some quiet time to view it and reflect. Stay tuned.