In Response to Daily Word Prompt: Nervous About…

Womens right to vote
From Pinterest

The message above expresses how I feel, as a woman being able to take on all the privileges that everyone else is afforded in our country. I’m so proud that we almost voted for a woman to be our President, and know we are just a short block away from getting there. What makes me nervous (and I say this cautiously, at the risk of alienating women who are always so positive with my blogs , but I think it’s necessary to speak my mind freely, again as a privilege afforded to me)  is the kinds of demonstrations in the name of women’s rights, or a great injustice done to all women in our country. In our country? If today’s stand, for example, of schools closing down in the name of women around the world being treated unfairly, then I would fully endorse this movement. But I simply cannot. I’m in for everything that stands for creative, independent, strong women who give back to our communities and set high moral examples to our daughters, and show them where their beauty really comes from.  But, for example, a few schools closed down here, in our U.S., because women are being encouraged not to go to work today and not shop today to show how essential we are to our economy. Great! For some single moms out there trying to keep things all together, now their children can’t get to school and they have to make arrangements for them so they can get to work and make their living. Do you see what I’m getting at? The Women’s March I did not “get” either. What injustices exactly are we marching for? And who are we following?, because this organizer seems to have used violence in her past to make a point. I’m just saying we are better than this. Children throw tantrums to be heard, but they don’t always get their way, because the adult knows the child is crying to get them to do something. That’s what a lot of these different waves of movements remind me of. Spoiled children. You did not get your way in this last Presidency ( neither did I for the record). Can we take a quick glance at Bill Clinton, or JFK and their regard for women? This too shall pass. What we should be doing instead of making all this cacophony of sounds, is pull together NOW. Begin pulling great, strong examples of our community out, and put them in the forefront so people begin to know their names and messages NOW. When the next election comes, the foundation of a strong positive movement can be set and ready, so people don’t have to figure out who they are or what they stand for. To our young people I say, if you are tired of these two parties, start NOW and lay the foundation for a third party that can really  shake things up, but do it for the right reasons.

Post journal Day 278: Still learning to “EMBRACE” Peace be with you all!

Just Because Everyone Says It’s OK…

Image result for Pictures self worth

One woman reached out to total strangers on a health/weight loss site social chat. Normally one would post, who is having trouble with getting to the gym, or reaching this goal weight. But she stated it was her anniversary, and in 6 weeks she would be having a baby, but caught her husband with porn. He had promised to stop, but he did not follow through with his promise. The replies poured in…” Porn is natural.”” Pornography is not anything to worry about.” “If watching porn upsets you, then there may be a deeper issue on your end.” “Well look at it this way, at least he’s just looking at porn, and not hiring hookers.” ” Maybe indulge with him in some of these fantasies.” Of course there was another side to the responses. The ones I tend to align with.  I wonder if these women ever held their new borns and thought, ” I can’t wait till you grow up to be a porn star, or stripper.”

How have we come to justify pornography and sex on the big screen? The excuse tends to be ” Oh, they are artists, and they are portraying the story line because if we don’t see the strip club, or the complete physical act of sex in the scene, we may not understand the story line…” Yes, of course I am being sarcastic. How come ( AND NOT THAT I WANT THIS- this is only a question) we never see normal people engaging in sex on the screen? Because it simply wouldn’t generate money.

I remember having a conversation with a friend about ten years ago now.  She was having problems with her husband.  Her husband was ” friends” with a woman who was being very flirtatious and even showed her boobs at a party. The husband said my friend was making way too big a deal of it. My friend explained to me , and her husband, that she did not want him fantasizing about her while engaging intimately with each other in their bedroom.  That made sense to me. It wasn’t porn, but his attention was drawn to someone else, not his wife. And the same thing goes with porn as far as I’m concerned. How have we set the bar so low in our relationships to allow our spouses to engage in this behavior? I did some research to get some outside input on this and there are other harsher views on pornography leading to violence towards women. If anything else it’s demeaning to women- our mothers, sisters, daughters, friends.

It is so difficult being a woman in today’s times.( And being an aging woman is one big party!) There is so much pressure to balance what we look like, our employment status, raising and nurturing our families, our spouses. I really felt hurt for the woman who reached out on the chat, and hope she can draw strength from family and friends, and see if she can get through to her husband on why this has hurt her so much. Just because people dismiss this issue as women being overly sensitive, and porn is ok, does not make it ok. OK?! Just like shortening the word doesn’t make it cute.

The movie Embrace is dedicated to getting to the bottom of why many  women feel badly about their bodies. I have only seen the trailer, but I know I identify with a lot of women out there that doubt their beauty because of the exterior ( their perception of their bodies).  I think it has something to do not only with all the model types that are put out there in  fashion magazines and movies for us to emulate, but the casual way sex is viewed, how movies and tv portray it, and how people are willing to sell out their diginity for it. In my opinion we need to hold ourselves in high esteem.  Too much emphasis is placed on looks and being “sexy.” Nothing to do with BEAUTY.

Personally I am on a journey ( Day 271). I decided to make more time to care for myself mostly so that I don’t feel uncomfortable in a room full of women at social events. ( There was an event that stirred up a lot of hurt, and the only person that could resolve it was me.) I am thankful for a great marriage of ten years now, (my second marriage) in which we hold each other in high esteem, and I value that. I value him! If you are a person about to take on marriage, make sure you’re willing to put each other on the highest level of respect, because if not, what’s the point? Give your spouse and family value and more importantly give yourself, self worth so that you CAN value those close to you. And look inside for BEAUTY because what we look like is such a small piece of who we are.

Progress Post Note-Day 272- Realizing that eating healthier is also good for my brain chemicals, skin and nails. Going into the closet makes it easier to COME OUT OF THE CLOSET now that things fit better. And I’m having a little fun too! Got lashes two weeks ago. Loving them! I am revisiting my faith and  trying new exercises. There are a lot more positives in my life!

A good point from Embrace is that our bodies are not ornaments, but vehicles.  I want to  explore that more within myself and look forward to making some quiet time to view it and reflect. Stay tuned.